Then again, maybe you are thinking nothing of the sort. But I'm still going to tell you anyway.
The location of Likely's diaries was one of history's greatest mysteries. They were not among the items left on the Likely Estate, nor were they ever published for mass consumption. So where did they go?
The answer turned out to be spectacularly anti-climatic for a series of diaries so packed full of adventure. They turned up in...a charity shop, in Swindon.
Fig 1: a charity shop.
I happened to stumble upon them quite by accident, while looking for a new jacket. Imagine my surprise when, among the racks of books on sale for fifty pence each, I spied the legendary journals of Lord Likely.
Needless to say, I snapped them up in an instant, having first haggled with the shop-keeper to let me have all ten volumes for a pound, then excitedly rushed home to study these tomes at my leisure.
I shall never forget that day for as long as I live, unless I am struck with Alzheimer's in my old age. It was a wonderful, glorious day.
Now, I am more than happy to share my discoveries with the world, over at lordlikely.blogspot.com.
Enjoy.
- Julian Syngen-Smythe.
5 comments:
Dear Mr Smythe-Syngen
I am the manageress of the Swindon branch of Help the Aged. This message is being written for me by Doreen Applethwick who recently started with us as a volunteer, and understands the ways of computers.
I was very pleased to learn that you had found the Lord Likely Diaries at our shop. Perhaps when you have made a lot of money from them, you will pause to think about the sad and lonely lives of the elderly in our community, and make a substantially huge donation to our work to ease their isolation?
A visit from one of our volunteers who have been specially trained to ignore the smell of wee is sometimes the only thing our clients have to look forward to in their long days.
Doreen tells me you might even be able to put a 'link' on your blogg to Help the Aged's website so that any of your readers so inclined could also make a substantially huge donation.
Training volunteers to hold their breath while visiting the elderly is only part of the valuable work we do. From a retail point of view, we sort and label countless thousands of pieces of clothing, many of which might interest your readers. We currently have a fine selection of 100% polyester ties for sale, and many of them show no signs of dribble.
Things have really looked up for Help the Aged since that Jarvis Cock pop song a few years ago. With your help, you can bring even more people through our doors, and hopefully they will find other historical artefacts like the ones you did. Or at least help us get rid of a few of these ties.
Yours sincerely
Freda Nesbitt
Dear Mrs Nesbit,
Thank you very much for your comment.
I truly appreciate the hard work you do at Help the Aged, having witnessed it first hand when my mother, Mrs. Theresa Syngen-Smythe, began to show signs of being unable to care for herself during the latter years of her life.
Not only did she urinate herself (a problem you seem to understand all too well), and begin to dribble a lot but she also seemed to nod off to sleep whenever I began to tell her some of my fascinating historical anecdotes. Clearly, all was not well.
I therefore will put up a link to the Help the Aged website, so you may benefit from the huge traffic I get in some way.
I like to think of this gesture as my own little contribution to the preservation of this country's own, living history.
Of course, when I say 'little', it will involve some web-coding, and writing, and updating files which will take up valuable research time, so in fact will be quite a sizeable chore for me.
I hope you appreciate it.
All the best,
Julian.
Dear Mr Smythe-Syngen (or may I call you Julian?)
Thank you so much for that kind gesture. I am certain that the big cheeses up at Help The Aged HQ will appreciate your placing a link from your august blog to their (in my opinion) rather garish website. A few pictures of daisies and daffodils might improve it. And I don't like that scary picture of a granny about to be pounced on by a thief.
I have asked Doreen to 'put by' a nice corduroy jacket with leather elbow pads that came in earlier today. Just mention my name when you come in, and it's yours gratis. But you might like to have a look at these ties, while you're in.
Fond Regards
Freda
Hey Dude!
While you're pluggin', can yo give a shout for the Alzheimer's Society?
We're getting seriously sexy with our website and we is way way cooler than Help The Aged.
If you can do this for us, us won't forget it ... or then again ...
Good words.
Post a Comment