Lord Likely: Stripped Nude

Lord Likely: Stripped Down

2007-11-15T07:49:00.000-08:00

Hello, history-lovers!

It has been a while since I wrote anything here, and for that I apologise. Really, I do. See that look on my face? That's how sorry I am.

However, in my absence I have decided that maybe this particular blog is rather redundant. Any announcements of any great importance regarding Lord Likely are usually made upon his own blog, leaving me sitting here twiddling my thumbs, which of course makes typing anything extremely difficult. I mean, have you ever tried typing while your thumbs are frantically twiddling all over the place? It is a fruitless task, dear readers.

So, I shall be closing down this blog, to focus my energies elsewhere. BUT! Do not be sad, dear readers. I shall still occasionally pop up over on Likely's page, and besides which we have just opened up a new Likely-based community called 'The Upper Crust', where I shall be employed behind the scenes, and where I may pop up and say 'hello' once in a while.

Thank you all for reading, and for your invaluable support. And keep reading The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely, because they are about to get a lot more astonishing - if that's even possible.

Goodbye!

- Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe,
editor.

Listen to Likely

2007-10-25T09:52:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

Good heavens, I am buzzing today. I think I am high, readers. HIGH ON HISTORY!

As well as discovering Lord Likely's fantastic journals, I have recently made an ALL-NEW discovery that I think will SHAKE the WORLD of HISTORY to it's very FOUNDATIONS!

Whilst visiting a car boot sale in Lower Spaffton the other day, I chanced upon a booth run by a rather wizened-looking old man, who may or may not have soiled himself. Anyway, he was selling old record players, gramophones and records.

As I flipped through his assortment of vinyl, (featuring the likes of Des O'Connor, Harry Secombe, Cliff Richard and NWA), I suddenly chanced upon something that made me literally gasp in amazement.

It was a very old record, wrapped in a blank sleeve that bore the words 'Lord Likely Recordings (1855)'. Trembling with excitement, I opened it up and seeing that it seemed to be in pretty good condition, I decided to buy it there and then.

It only cost me 25p.

Hurrying home, I dusted down the record player and put the record on.

I was delighted.

There were dozens of short recordings on the record, all done by his lordship himself, including readings from his diaries, poetry and even some music. I almost defecated with sheer joy!

Of course, I could not keep this all to myself, so I transferred the recordings to my PC, cleaned them up as best I could (although they are still a touch crackly and hissy, I must say, but then they ARE 152 years old), and then uploaded them to MySpace.

Now YOU can listen to these wonderful recordings, by clicking below:

Lord Likely's Astonishing Audio Adventures

I do hope you will be as thrilled by them as I was. If so, keep a Kleenex handy.

Enjoy!

-Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe, editor The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely.

His Lordship's Domain!

2007-10-09T13:43:00.000-07:00

Hello, history-lovers!

With the Likely Centenary fast approaching, we thought it was high time that his lordship had his very own web address, worthy of his higher status.

So today we give you: lordlikely.co.uk - his very own domain, of which he is lord and master!

Hurrah!

Feel free to update any links accordingly, although I believe the old address automatically redirects readers to the shiny new name.

Enjoy!

- Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe, editor, The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely.

Holmes-O-Sexual

2007-10-08T05:43:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

Now, while I love my history, I'm not always in history mode, and sometimes I like to unwind by relaxing on my large sofa, port in hand, watching the television.

Last Thursday I watched a brand-new comedy sketch show on BBC2 called The Peter Serafinowicz Show, featuring the comic actor Peter Serafinowicz, from such televisual delights as Spaced and Look Around You, and the motion picture Shaun of the Dead.

It was an enjoyable half an hour, although two sketches in particular almost made me choke on my port. These sketches featured a rather unusual take on the character of Mr. Sherlock Holmes, depicting him as some sort of sex-crazed maniac who would routinely ravage poor Dr. Watson. Witness them by clicking below:

The Victorian setting, lewd conduct and lingering shot of a portrait of Queen Victoria put me in my mind of another lust-filled hero - our very own Lord Likely. Could it be that secretly Serafinowicz is a Likely fan? Was someone on the writing team inspired by his lordship's astonishing adventures? Or is it all just a curious coincidence?

Probably the latter. But if Lord Likely should ever make the leap from web-log to TV screen, I think we have found the man to play him. Serafinowicz is superb, don't you agree? Who would you like to see cast in a hypothetical Lord Likely television series, or movie? Tell me! Tell me now! Please.

Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe, editor of The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely.

The Likely Centenary: Coming Soon!

2007-10-03T18:32:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Well, today's chapter in The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely marks the NINETIETH entry in his lordship's journals thus far, meaning that ten entries from now, we shall hit the big one-zero-zero - 100.

Obviously, we feel such a milestone should be celebrated in typically spectacular style, as befitting everyone's favourite aristocratic adventurer.

But what to do, dear readers? A 'greatest hits' collection, detailing some of his lordship's finest moments? A tale from his lordship's past, such as the story about his schooldays we ran recently? Or just a mass orgy?

I am truly stumped, history lovers - so I am turning to you, my loyal readers, to help me decide. If any of the above ideas grab you, or you have another idea all of your own, then please leave a comment letting me know.

Please, help a poor professor out.

Many thanks!

- Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe, Editor of The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely.

Lounging With Lord Likely

2007-09-22T08:00:00.001-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

Since I began transcribing Lord Likely's journals to the internet, I have been exploring ways to drive traffic to his blog, to improve the lives of internet surfers everywhere.

One means of rustling up readers is through blog directories, and two of the best of these, in my humble opinion, are MyBlogLog and Blog Catalog.

Both Lord Likely frequents both these directories, (here and here, fact fans!) and both sites are both easily within his top twenty referers. Good show, what?

MyBlogLog is excellent, and of course favoured by Ed from The Pisstakers, what with him utilizing the site for his marvelous MyBlogLog Sundays (soon to celebrate their 25th installment!) However, for my money (all seven pounds eighty-five pence of it), I have to say I prefer Blog Catalog.

Blog Catalog gets the edge due to it's excellent interactivity and added features, from it's discussion board to it's newest and most exciting feature: groups.

Groups allow members to set up a group to discuss anything at all, and invite fellow BC members over to join in various discussions. It's a great idea, and one that his Lordship has fully embraced by opening his own group, Lord Likely's Lavish Lounge. Here, members can come and chat with Lord Likely, relax and share a virtual glass of whisky. It has gotten off to a wonderful start, with topics of conversation ranging from which type of facial hair is best, to whether or not urine would make for a lovely perfume. Something for everyone, I feel!

If you have a blog, or even just love reading blogs, I recommend that you sign up to Blog Catalog immediately (it's free, and relatively painless) then you too can join the Lounge.

While you're at it, join MyBlogLog as well. It is really good. I have not tried the recently launched Blog Rush yet, and am not sure I will. Is it worth it, dear readers?

Anyway, must dash - I have to go and plump up the cushions in his lordship's lounge. See you there!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe

Oh! I almost forgot! It is Mr. Andy Fanton's birthday tomorrow! Why not pop over to his blog, i used my very best crayons, and wish him well. He does ever so much stuff for us here at Likely Towers. Well, sometimes he does. Go and say hello anyway!

Tagged and Bagged

2007-09-19T17:43:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Well, it's been rather a busy week and a bit here at History Heights (as I am wont to calling my spacious bungalow here in sunny Spaffton-Upon-Grime), with all manner of things going on.

Fanton Menace

As regular readers may know, Mr. Andy Fanton - one of the fine fellows working on The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely, recently travelled up to Manchester to discuss his would-be animated series The Carrotty Kid, based on the web-comic of the same name. Things went pretty well, as far as we can tell. He hasn't hung himself in despair, which can only be a good thing. To find out more, visit his own personal blog.

Awards for Lords

Secondly, his Lordship has been awarded both the Break Out Blogger Award (courtesy of Ed at The Pisstakers) and the Bodacious Blogger Award, thanks to cutetoes. We are delighted with our shiny new awards, which will look lovely on our mantelpiece, next to my 'World's Best Teacher' mug I got back in 1983.

Fact Me Hard

His Lordship was also tagged by the lovely and excellent Olga, The Travelling Bra recently. Rather than break up the thrilling American Adventure in his lordship's journal, I thought I'd tackle the tagging over here. So: I think I'm supposed to refer to the original tagger (done, lovely) and now reveal 8 facts about His Lordship - so here we go:

1. Lord Likely has one testicle larger than the other.
2. He calls the larger testicle 'Pitt the Elder' and the smaller one 'Pitt the Younger.'
3. At public school, he crippled a teacher with nothing more than a stick of chalk.
4. His 'Lord Palmerston' is the only penis in history to have been knighted by the Queen, for 'Services to Procreation'.
5. He used to have a dog called 'The Iron Duke', but it died after being humped to death by a horse.
6. Lord Likely has never been to Scotland, fearing it to be a place of 'wild, feral beast-men'.
7. His lordship has a tattoo of Queen Victoria on his left bum-cheek.
8. Every time his Lordship sees the number '8', he gets a massive erection, as the figure looks rather like a voluptuous, curvy woman.

There you go. Fascinating, yes?

I would now like to (rather lazily) tag five more people, for not only the '8 facts...' meme, but also to also receive the awards mentioned above. SO: they are...

Nurse Myra - the naughtiest nurse I have ever come across (not literally, of course!)
The Domestic Minx - you have to love this decadent dame. I know I do!
Naked Mad Hatter - as mad as a...well, hatter.
Adventures of Lady Laura - a woman after my own heart.
Mattress Police - just because being tagged will drive Mr. Diesel CRAZY - with hilarious results!

Whew! What a lot of business. Talking of business, for a glimpse behind the crazy, glitzy world of Hollywood showbusiness, please enjoy Suck My Hollywood, a new venture from gaup Enterprises, inc. It'll certainly open your eyes!

Well, that is quite enough. I am off to polish my award, which is in no way a euphemism for masturbating.

See you all soon!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

A Linc to the Past

2007-09-10T10:28:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Well, there's been another jam-packed, swear-filled, history-stuffed chapter in Lord Likely's Astonishing American Adventure, today. It was so exciting, I dropped a pen!

Anyway, in the latest entry Likely meets a pre-Presidential Abraham Lincoln, and the pair seem to get on rather well. Maybe a bit too well?

Gay-braham Lincoln

There has been speculation and heresay about the late President's sexuality, which you can read about here. Does the encounter Lord Likely writes about confirm these previously unfounded rumours? I can only imagine that the history books will have to be rewritten, and all they will say is 'Gay'.

Maybe the beat combo Electric Six were not so far off in their imagining of Lincoln's life, after all:

Language, Timothy

I feel I must also apologise for Likely's terrible attitude towards the coloured community. Of course, such attitudes were prevalent in Victorian society, but still it is rather shocking to see in print. Suffice to say, the opinions that tumble out of his lordship's mouth do NOT reflect those of any of us.

Once A Week Man

Today's episode of Lord Likely's adventures will be the only one this week, right up until the weekend, we'd imagine.

Why?

Well, Mr. Andy Fanton, who works on my staff helping me to transfer Likely's journals to the web, is off to Manchester this week.

Why?

You're a curious bunch, aren't you? Well, as well as working on Lord Likely (so to speak), Mr. Fanton also maintains the web comic The Carrotty Kid. This creation of his also found success with an animation studio, Cosgrove Hall Films, resulting in this pilot episode getting made.

This week, Fanton returns to the studio, in Manchester, to talk further about cartoons and carrots, hence no Likely for a week. WE won't hold a grudge, however, and wish him well on his trip.

Read Mr. Fanton's recently reinstated blog for further details, and to pass on your own good luck messages.

Coming Soon

While you wait for the next chapter, I thought I'd get a little teaser of Likely's next adventure, which will debut at the end of the month, once the American Adventure has been completed. So, we present to you now, the first look at The Curious Case of the Conjuring Calamity.

Ooooh...the tension!

I'm off to find my pen. See you all in a week, history lovers!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

A Walk in the Park

2007-09-07T06:09:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

Today's enthralling chapter of Lord Likely's Astonishing American Adventure features some real-life history, thus it has me as excited as a dog in a fire hydrant factory.

In today's chapter, Likely meets Calvert Vaux and Frederick Law Olmstead, the joint designers of New York's Central Park. Of course, in 1856 the park was yet to be built, and his lordship makes a decent attempt at designing it himself. It's rather a pity the pair did not take Likely up on his plan, as it would have made for a rather unique-looking attraction. Ah, well.

To read more about Central Park's history, go HERE.

Further fascinating tidbits from his lordship's diaries are cropping up everywhere, especially regarding his own family. Already we have been introduced to his American half-brother, Ludlow Likely, learnt more about Lightnin' Lance Likely (the outlawed Likely, who also features in this blog, here) and discovered that in 1856, Lord Eustace Likely, the father of the clan, is still alive and pumping. Exciting times!

The Likely family tree is less a tree, and more an entire forest. I wonder what further revelations await us?

Stay tuned!...

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Face the Lord

2007-08-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

Good day,history lovers!

As well as having his own MySpace profile, Lord Likely has now deemed Facebook worthy of his regal self, and has now joined up.

Go here to see his profile, and feel free to add him as your friend, to get all the latest Likely news and maybe just to have a nice chat with him, if he thinks you are worth the effort.

Have fun!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe, editor The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely.

His Lordship Loses His Widgets

2007-08-21T17:34:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Today has been a busy day, as I have set about reorganising the sidebar on The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely.

I had become aware, through some emails and comments, that his Lordship's journals sometimes took an age to load - if at all - due in no small part to the overwhelming amount of widgets on the site.

So, today I made a drastic decision - OFF WITH THE WIDGETS!

No-one likes to lose their widget, but I felt it necessary to do so. If we were losing even one reader due to slow loading times, then that was one reader too many, and one poor soul denied the pleasure of reading his lordship's writings.

So, I cleared out the widgets, but replaced them with more tasteful, graphical links instead. Having done that, I then decided to update all the more graphic links (buttons, adverts etc) to keep them more in keeping with the style and tone of the journals.

I hope the fine people at Fuel My Blog, Humor-Blogs.com, The Pisstakers, MyBlogLog, Blog Catalog and Spicy Page do not mind me taking such liberties. The reciprocal links are still there, they are just dressed up rather differently, and given a Victorian twist.

I have also added a couple more Victorian ads, some more priase from the newspapers at the time and some other bits and bobs, so go and peruse the journals right now, and let me know what you think of it's new-look sidebar.

Now, I am off to a real bar.

Good-bye!

Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Update: I reinstated the Blog Catalog and MyBlogLog widgets, but much smaller this time. I missed seeing your beautiful faces.

Double Update: I have just added a 'Story So Far' recap on the sidebar of Likely's journals, so new readers can quickly catch-up on events in his lordship's latest adventures.

Another Likely Discovery

2007-08-19T05:35:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

I am agog with excitement today, for it seems that another member of the ever-expanding Likely family has been discovered - and he's alive and well and on the internet RIGHT NOW!

He is Sir Renchard Likely, a newspaper tycoon and journalist, from the UK. Quite what his exact relationship is with our very own Lord Likely is not yet clear, but he definitely shares his ancestor's love of foul language, if his news website The Shits O'Clock News is anything to go by.

I shall try and pin him down for an interview soon. Watch this space!

In the meantime, stay historical!

- Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Likely Lineage

2007-08-17T04:29:00.000-07:00

Greetings, history lovers! And welcome to a special chapter of Lord Likely: Stripped Nude, featuring as it does many video clips for your enjoyment.

Despite being some 150-odd years old, the journals of Lord Likely continue to influence all art and literature ever in existence ever, due to them being just so damned good. Countless writers and performers have followed in the journals' wake, trying to replicate the wit of his lordship, but not all have succeeded. Here today, I shall present to you some of the more successful candidates, all of whom owe a tip of the top hat to Lord Likely: Aristocratic Adventurer...

Bottom, BBC TV Comedy Series, 1991-1997.

If you have ever smirked at the wanton violence inherent in Lord Likely's journals, then here is some more wanton violence from this hilarious British sit-com, starring Rik Mayall and Adrian Edmonson. In the clip below, the despicable duo find a novel way to deal with the gasman...

Blackadder, BBC TV Comedy Series, 1983-1989.

In one of the most blatant steals from his lordship's diaries, comes this Rowan Atkinson-starring sit-com, spanning four different generations of the manipulative Blackadder family, and Baldrick, the long-suffering man-servant. A lord and his filthy, idiot servant? I ask you! Such damned gall! Anyway, in this clip, Edmund Blackadder (Atkinson) tries to teach Baldrick (Tony Robinson) how to count.

The Carry On Films, 1958-1992.

Lord Likely is not one to pass up any chance at innuendo or smut, a charming trait carried on with aplomb by the 'Carry On' series of movies. In the iconic scene below, from 1975's Carry On Camping, Dr. Soaper (Kenneth Williams) gets an eyeful...

Monty Python and the Holy Grail, 1975.

If historical hi-jinx are your 'bag' (as the kids say, so I am told), then feast your eyes upon this scene plucked from the Monty Python film Monty Python and the Holy Grail, in which a witch is put on trial. Comedy almost as good as Likely's.

Fawlty Towers, BBC TV Comedy Series, 1975-1979.

More John Cleese-based homage to his lordship, in this hysterical UK sit-com, about the snooty, snobbish hotelier Basil Fawlty. In the classic clip here, Basil has to explain a mix-up over a fire drill to his guest, which he does so in spectacularly rude style.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie, BBC TV Comedy Series, 1989-1995.

Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie (no doubt familiar to our U.S readers as House, M.D), were an excellent comic double act, and in this brilliant sketch the pair play a stuffy, upper-class couple. Fry's character in particular was more than likely inspired by Likely.

A Shot in the Dark, 1964.

In this, the second of the classic Pink Panther movies starring the brilliant Peter Sellers, Inspector Clouseau tackles his crazy servant, Cato (Burt Kwouk). Observe in particular Clouseau's moustache, clearly styled on that of his lordship.

Hot Fuzz, 2007.

Taking their cue from the action and comedy mix innovated by Lord Likely, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost made the movie Hot Fuzz about two cops in a sleepy, English village. In this action-packed scene, they pursue a thief through the village.

Not Only, But Also, BBC TV Series, 1965-1970.

This long-missed comedy duo tore up the comedy rule book in the 1960s, and then hit the big time with their sketch show Not Only But Also. In this sketch, Peter Cook, in the guise of a rather stiff father, explains to his son (Dudley Moore) the facts of life, in a very English way. Note the Likely-influenced moustache on Cook's face.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, ITV Drama, 1984-1994.

Finally, in one of the most outright instances of plagarism, comes Sherlock Holmes, by Sir Arthur Conan-Doyle. The titular Victorian detective and his assistant, Watson, embark on all sorts of adventures, no doubt copied from the adventures of Lord Likely. In this scene from a UK television adaptation, Holmes (the late, great Jeremy Brett), indulges in some fisticuffs.

So there you have it. Clear proof that The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely shaped the future of TV, film and literature, and will no doubt continue to do so. Of course, some nay-sayers (other jealous historians), claim that the above actually influenced the journals, but they are history idiots. Anyone can see that 1856 (when Likely penned his diaries) was way before any of the above took place. It's simple chronology.

Until next time, stay historical!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Lord Likely Goes Corporate

2007-08-07T16:40:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

The eagle-eyed among you may have noticed this little button appearing after each post on The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely, the blog which I edit:

What does it all mean?

Well, what it means is that Lord Likely is now part of gaup enterprises, inc., a shadowy corporation which develops "the world's finest humour-based blogs for the cutting-edge, technically-handed, media-thrusting, web-wired world," according to the press release which I am holding in my hands right now.

A quick look at their resume reveals that they own The Carrotty Kid (a webcomic about a kung-fu carrot), Anthology of Awful (horror), i done a comic (foul-mouthed cartoons) and Take Life From Behind (self-help).

As historically-minded as I am, I sometimes have to consider the future, and so when two of their representatives, armed with a briefcase full of papers and a fistful of notes, I agreed to sell them the precious Likely journals for enough cash to keep me in shirts and glasses and fast cars for a lifetime. Plus, I'll be able to continue my studies without the need to scramble around for finance, of course.

I am being kept on as editor of these fine, historical documents, so do not fear, it is just that we now belong to a ~~giant, faceless corporation who will probably suck the joy out of everything, but hey! I got a lot of dosh~~ very dynamic and forward-facing company.

This also does not affect my current allegiance to humor-blogs.com, The Pisstakers, or Fuel My Blog, so all is well.

You can visit my new paymasters on their website, or by dropping by their blog. And feel free to investigate some of their their comedy offerings...they are actually really good! No, really!

Well, I am off to enjoy a nice glass of champagne.

See you!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

_{This post has been vetted and passed by gaup enterprises, inc}.

Books, links and rock and roll.

2007-07-29T07:03:00.001-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Well, what an exciting time it is to be on the internet super-bypass these days, what with some of the finest bloggers out there stretching their virtual legs, and dallying with the printing presses.

The first blog-to-book transfer I recall coming across (not literally, of course) was Tales of Mirth and Woe, by the enigma known as 'Scaryduck'. His fine weblog made the leap from web to page with aplomb, plus he even managed to rope in Neil Gaiman to pen an introduction. I suspect blackmail was involved, personally. Tophole!

Then, the fine fellow known as 'Mr. Biffo' decided to publish a book called Confessions of a Chatroom Freak, following his adventures in cyberspace, masquerading as a lady and confusing the sexed-up inhabitants of numerous chat rooms - cue much hilarity and even some jocularity. Mr. Biffo is embarking on some sort of virtual book tour next month (see details: HERE), where his luscious alter-ego LoopyLisa will be stopping off for a chat with our very own Lord Likely on August 9th. Mark the date in your calendar, people!

Finally, Diesel from the excellent Mattress Police and guardian of Humor-Blogs.com, has just unveiled his own tome, Antisocial Commentary, which is released on August 15th, but you can preorder it right now, and be the coolest kid on the block. I should imagine it will be crammed full of funny, if his blog is anything to go by.

Whew! What a busy lot they are. It makes me wonder if I shouldn't start contemplating transferring his lordship's journals to the printed page as well, so that future generations may learn about how life really was in the Victorian age. Plus, they can learn all sorts of new and exciting swear words. Maybe, one day, I can make that dream come true.

In other news, I have reorganised the links section on Lord Likely's blog, and have put in some all-new links to sites I have recently discovered, and found to be most worthy. Go and have a browse, I am sure you will find something to tantalise your eyeballs.

That is the books and links bits done....sadly, there is no rock and roll. I much prefer Gilbert O'Sullivan.

Until next time, keep historying!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

It's a funny old world...

2007-07-23T18:22:00.000-07:00

Good evening, history lovers!

I hope you are feeling suitably satisfied with the resolution to last week's thrilling cliffhanger over on lordlikely.blogspot.com. I know I am!

Many thank to anyone who has supported his lordship over on humor-blogs.com. Thanks to you, his journals, like his proud Lord Palmerston, are rising quickly. And many thanks to Ed of The Pisstakers, who once again promotes his lordship with eloquence and wit. Huzzah!

In other news, I am contractually obliged to promote www.thecarrottykid.co.uk, a new(ish) webcomic/blog site developed by our very own Andy Fanton. Go there to read a bunch of comics, play a game AND to view this short cartoon, developed by Mr. Fanton, animated by real animators, and made with a view to a full series later on.

Will that ever happen? I do not know. But, despite my contractual obligations, it's all spiffing stuff. Really!

See you soon!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

The Making of Movie History

2007-07-21T13:07:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

And what a good day it is, for you history fans out there, as today HISTORY becomes FUTURE HISTORY thanks to MODERN DAY technology!

Did that make sense to you? Let me just read that back...

Hmm. Anyway, if you are a regular reader of the journals of Lord Likely (which you SHOULD be, if you are not, as none of my blog will make any sense to you), then you will no doubt have seen the latest entry, which boasts a THRILLING piece of film, in the form of a trailer for the journals, as made by the technical genius who lives next door to me. He is a nice lad and he also helped set up my DVD player a few days ago. Good kid, if a bit smelly.

Anyway, I digress.

If you have yet to view this piece of movie-making history, than never fear - here it is again now, for you to see with your eyes:

Wonderful, is it not? So exciting! So thrilling! So arousing!

We thought it was time we embraced the power of YouTube to help further publicise the historical writings of his lordship, and hope you like what you see. If you do, feel free to share it with your friends, family and even complete strangers, just as long as you remember to tell them how fantastic the journals of his Lordship are!

Oh, and we are aware that we've chosen a time when you are all sitting on the edge of your collective, virtual chairs, following the nail-bitingly tense cliffhanger in the previous entry...but we thought we'd go ahead anyway just to TEASE you a bit more!

I'd also like to doff my cap to Thomas Hamburger Jnr, of Harry McFry Investigates, who's own fine commercial enterprise inspired us to forge ahead with our own. Here is Mr. Hanburger's fine work:

I salute you!

In other news, Ed from The Pisstakers seems to have made a triumphant return from the void and is back in action, so go and say hello, why don't you? And drop in on humor-blogs as well, for they are a fine bunch and all.

Until next time, stay histori-cool,

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

2007-07-12T05:52:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

As Lord Likely's epic adventure continues ever-onwards, it is still refreshing to see that his lordship can take time out from his hectic schedule to edify the world about moustaches.

What am I talking about? Well, take a visit to the Fuel My Blog blog, and you shall be able to enjoy Lord Likely's Guide to Moustaches, a fine piece detailing various styles of facial furniture and what they say about their bearers. As a proud owner of a fine moustache myself, I found it to be a most illuminating guide. I hope you will glean similar pleasures from it. Go there now, then. Now. NOW.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

That is all.

See you next time, for more historical hi-jinx.

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Be sure to drop in on Humor-Blogs.com as well, home of the humourous (including his lordship.)

Interview With A Vampire (Vampire Not Included)

2007-07-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

What exciting history news do I bring you today?

Well, BlogInterviewer.com, a site which does EXACTLY what it says on the virtual tin, have interviewed some fellow called Andy Fanton about The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely. Read the interview here, for some juicy behind-the-scenes chat. Then, rate the journals highly, so that everyone can see how thoroughly excellent they are. (And they are, of course.)

In other blog news, poor Ed from The Pisstakers (perennial friends of his lordship), is having some trouble with his computer, resulting in his fabulous site suffering a lack of updates. But still, you should go and visit the site anyway, as it is wonderful. Tell him Julian sent you.

That shall suffice for now. Until next time, keep historying!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

At the Top of the Tree

2007-06-29T05:55:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

It is with adrenalin pumping through my veins that I write today, as I am so overloaded with history that my excitement levels have reached critical. I really, ruddy love history, you know.

But first thing's first - it is a pleasure to announce that The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely has been selected as 'Blog of the Day' by those fine, fine folk over at Fuel My Blog. This is a wonderful honour for me, and I thank them very much.

Fuel My Blog is a fine website, and if YOU have a blog and have not joined their merry masses yet, I urge you to do so. You shall find a wonderful, warm welcome, and the chance to meet fellow bloggers from all over the globe. Even if you do not have a blog, you should still visit them anyway, as you will find a portal to a host of other wondrous blogs. Such as The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely, for example. Which is Blog of the Day today. Did I mention that already?
Click the beautiful award (which we won for being Blog of the Day today, as I may have already touched upon) to visit Fuel My Blog - NOW! And do not forget to fuel Likely's journals once you're there. I thank you.

Now, to history. Loyal Likelyiers may have already seen his lordship's latest entry, where he attempts to map out his family tree. This particular article made me moist with anticipation (I sweated a lot, you see) as it revealed a bit more history (which I love) and back story of our beloved lord. I was like a kid in a candy shop, except the candy was filled with HISTORY.

In addition to all this, my good friend Bill Blunt sent me a picture of a possible Likely sighting on an Italian restaurant's shop sign, in Ferryhill. Could it be his lordship, or one of his many relatives? Look for yourself below theses words I am writing now:

What do you think? Likely, or not?

Actually, this has given me an idea for an exciting competition, which I shall call Look-A-Likely. If any of you dear readers have stumbled upon a picture of someone who resembles our lordship, then please let me know, by either posting the picture in the comments section, or a link to the picture, or by e-mailing it to me via andy fanton at googlemail dot com The winner shall win....something. Something good, from my collection of historical artifacts, no doubt.

Get hunting!

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

For further family tree-based fun, visit Tribal Pages, or read Harry McFry Investigates, the adventures of a genealogical private investigator.

You Have Got to Fight, For Your Right, To Party.

2007-06-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Well, I have finally settled into my new home in Spaffton-Upon-Grime, and I have at last unpacked all my historical documents and books, and of course the astonishing journals of Lord Likely, which I am now updating again. HOORAY!

Since my return, I have been delighted to see that Likely was tagged by Lord Matt, which was very good of him. He is a fine man, with a fine hat. Do drop in on him, and say hello. I shall attempt to honour the tagging as soon as I can.

The Pisstakers continue to champion his lordship, giving him their coveted 'Bonus Spot' in their MyBlogLog Sunday initiative. I thank Ed whole-heartedly, and am very glad to see he has returned as well.

Finally, I have once again donated another fine journal entry to the Fuel My Blog blog, as I am nice like that. This time, it is an entry entitled 'Lord Likely's Guide to Brawling', and is well worth a read for anyone who loves his lordship. (i.e anyone with a pulse, I should imagine.)

Well, I'd better get back. Mrs. Syngen-Smythe is demanding I repaint our new bedroom, as she claims that black is a 'death colour' and it is upsetting her. I fear if I am to get any action in the sack, I must get the paint out.

See you son!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Delays Likely

2007-05-31T17:41:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers!

Well, all my historical documents, and leather-bound books are all boxed up, as I ready myself for moving from my current locale, to Spaffton-Upon-Grime, this week.

It is a very exciting, yet stressful time, and I look forward to settling into my lovely, new country house soon. Of course, the downside is that I will be offline for a few days, with my Internet Service Provider telling me I shall be reconnected on the 6th June. Oh, woe is me!

While I am gone, I shall leave you a reading list of things you can read while I am away, to keep yourself busy. Before you know it, I shall be back in business and sharing the journals of Lord Likely with you all once more. HURRAH!

Until then, farewell for now. And remember: history = EXCELLENT.

Bye!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Syngen-Smythe's Reading List:

I shall be testing you on all of the above when I return...

Looking to the Future

2007-05-18T13:43:00.000-07:00

Good evening, history lovers!

While my field of expertise lies with the history and the past, sometimes it is also necessary to look to the future.

As I have the complete journals of Lord Likely at hand, I am considerably ahead in my reading of them than you reading them on the internet. I can assure you, there are some rather spectacular stories, terrific tales and of course, astonishing adventures, yet to grace your monitor screens.

As I have a head-start on you loyal readers, I thought I would tantalise you by occasionally offering you a sneaky peek at forthcoming adventures.

So, without further ado, I have whipped up this graphical advertisement to whet your appetites for one of Likely's imminent escapades. How does Lord Likely in America grab you?...

See y'all soon!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Wiping Away The Cobwebs

2007-05-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

Good evening, history lovers!

Dealing with history means I often have to come into contact with dust and cobwebs, as these things have an alarming tendency to build up around really old things. Take my mother, for example. (I'm joking, mum!)

I recently started cleaning up my study, which has become overrun with dust and cobwebs. It took me several hours, but eventually I had my nice, new study back in full, shiny order.

But I did not stop there. After that, I turned my attention to Lord Likely's blog, which has itself become rather cluttered and messy over the past four months. So, I got out my virtual vacuum cleaner, and my digital duster, and got to work tidying up.

Hopefully, you should notice my efforts. I ditched some graphics, pruned away some buttons to various sites that didn't seem to be doing much for his lordship, retitled some of the sections, added a new section for Likely's other writings for other publications (such as his recent piece for the fuelmyblog) and reorganized the links.

Now, that last bit is important to bear in mind. I have grouped the links into three distinct categories - The Likely Empire, Close Personal Friends and Passing Acquaintances. Basically, the blogs and sites in the first group are blogs that either I, or one of my cohorts, are involved in. The second group is for those people who have either linked to the journals, or who regularly visit and comment, or people who I owe a favour. Finally, 'Acquaintances' is for all those who may have visited, joined his lordship's community on MyBlogLog or Blog Catalog, but who have yet to link to us or comment.

If I have misplaced anyone, let me know and I will correct any errors. Likewise, if you wish to be on Lord Likely's link list, drop me a comment or get in touch in some other form.

Finally, I also added an advert for a book written by fellow blogger, television writer and all-round good egg, Mr. Biffo. Confessions of a Chatroom Freak is available to buy now from all good bookshops, and REALLY good bakeries. Tell them Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe sent you!

Whew! All this tidying has worn me out. I am off for a lie down on my newly dust-free sofa.

Cheerio!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Fuel My Lord

2007-05-17T06:00:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Lord Likely continues his rampage through cyberspace, like some kind of crazy rhinoceros wearing a top-hat.

Today, you'll find him popping up over on the official Fuel My Blog blog, where he offers his top ten tips of dining etiquette. There is plenty of sage advice on offer over there, so go and take a look and become a little bit more cultured.

Lord Likely is also one of the blogs selected for a mini-review by The Pisstakers, as part of their MyBlogLog Sunday initiative. I thank them for their continued support of these historic journals, and helping to spread history all over the internet, as one would spread butter on toast. (Except the butter in this case is history. History butter. And the toast is the internet. Am I labouring this point too much, I ask?)

Well, I am all worn out now. I shall go and have a lie down, and dream of history.

Goodbye!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Loud Likely

2007-05-16T06:47:00.000-07:00

Hello, History lovers!

A most astonishing occurrence of extreme historical importance has, well, occurred.

Audio records of an amateur dramatic reproduction of one of Lord Likely's earlier journal entries, long thought destroyed in a fire or something, have turned up, unscathed, on the internet.

This is a most amazing development, that has literally made me spurt my juices all over the place. To hear what all the fuss is about, click the image below:

I hope you are at least as half as excited as I am!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

A Likely Descendant?

2007-05-11T04:35:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers.

History can be a very surprising beast, much like a lion jumping out of a hedge, dressed like a clown. So very unexpected.

My studies concerning Lord Likely have not only turned up Lightnin' Lance Likely, a wild-west outlaw who may or may not be one of Likely's relatives, but now I believe I have stumbled upon another, quite by chance.

While discussing the marketing campaign for the forthcoming Harry Potter movie, my friend over at Philospeak managed to gain an audience with some of the designers working on the aforementioned campaign - including a certain Sir Simon Likely, Duke of F'ington, and his assistant, Kotter.

An extraordinary find, I am sure you will agree. How Sir Simon fits into the ever-expanding Likely family tree is unknown, but if you read the article in question you will see this man certainly displays some of the characteristics of a bona fide Likely.

My studies continue apace, and I will keep you informed of any further developments. Should any of my loyal readers discover any further Likelys springing up anywhere, do let me know. They seem to have been breeding like aristocratic rabbits of late!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Top Hats and Top Blogs

2007-05-07T17:11:00.000-07:00

Good evening, history lovers!

While I am still excitedly beavering away on my latest historical discovery, The Wild World of Lightnin' Lance Likely (see previous post for details, past fans), I have not forgotten my principal work in restoring the journals of Lord Likely, aristocratic adventurer.

To this end, I recently donated one of the entries from these fascinating diaries to the good folk at TopBlogMag, who have published it on their own site on this very day.

The entry, entitled 'The Mystery of Miss Terri', throws further light on his lordship's attitudes to women, and details another one of his short-lived relationships. It is exclusive to TopBlogMag, and will not see light of day on Likely's own blog, soI urge you to go and read it. It is the only way you will ever be able to see those particular words in that specific order.

Until next time, I remain yours sincerely loving history,

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Another Astonishing Discovery

2007-05-04T16:33:00.000-07:00

Good day, history lovers.

As a historian, nothing excites me more than making a brand-new historical discovery. Not even seeing a lady naked excites me quite as much as history. Unless, of course, the lady in question has history all over her tits.

Anyway, I thought I'd had my fair share of excitement recently, what with rediscovering the journals of Lord Likely. But no, dear reader, there was more history-based excitement to come.

Today, while attending a police auction in the vain hope of buying a new sweater for a dirt-cheap price, (they tend to be very reasonably priced at these events, more so if they are bloodstained) I chanced upon an old chest of drawers going for a mere three pounds and fifty pence.

As I needed a new set of drawers to store my ever-increasing collection of blood-stained jumpers, I bid for the item, and happily won the auction. This alone would have caused today to have been marked as A Very Good Day Indeed, but more was to come.

When I got the drawers home, I found that they had not even been cleared out by their previous owner. Inside, I found a selection of playing cards, some A4 lined paper, a copy of Lovely Jubblies magazine and then...The Item.

My hands trembled as I removed a selection of files, labelled as the property of 'The Federal Marshall's Office'. And they were dated...1856, the same year as the journals of Lord Likely. Good heavens!

I sat down and perused the files, and saw history unfold before my very eyeballs. The files contained the reports of one Sheriff Justice J. Lawman, covering in great detail his dealings with a renowned fugitive called... Lightnin' Lance Likely.

My eyes widened, my penis stiffened. Another Likely? Who was this man? Was this man a relative of the aristocratic adventurer, Lord Likely? Or did he just share the same surname? So many questions!

My findings on this subject remain inconclusive at the time of writing, but I continue to try and solve this historical puzzle. In the meantime, I shall leave you to draw your own conclusions, as I very proudly publish these articles on the interweb for you to read and enjoy.

The Wild World of Lightnin' Lance Likely is online now. Be sure to ride on over, and take a look. I am going to have a bit of a lie-down.

Good-bye!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Crimea River

2007-04-29T20:14:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

The latest entry in Lord Likely's journals are especially fascinating for me and my fellow historians. For the first time, we see large-scale historical events outside of Likely's usual experiences take an influence upon his life.

The Crimean War (1853-1856) was an especially brutal war, and was said to usher in the modern style of conflict that we still enjoy today. (Is 'enjoy' the right word here?) It's impact politically, socially and culturally was far-reaching, and it is truly very interesting to see how Lord Likely himself was affected.

For further reading on the Crimean War, may I suggest a visit to The Crimean War Research Society. A fine resource for anyone fascinated by this awful war.

Tell 'em Julian sent you!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Lord Likely - Comic Stripped

2007-04-26T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Children are pretty stupid, are they not? With their burbling and gurgling, and distinct lack of interest in history.

That is why, with the help of the excellent Strip Generator, I have fashioned this cartoon about the always astonishing Lord Likely:

(Click for full view)

I think children and teachers alike will be delighted.

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Piss-Takers and Pisstakers

2007-04-26T02:53:00.000-07:00

Hello, history lovers!

Work continues apace on transcribing the diaries of the enigmatic Lord Likely from the antiquated volumes of his journals to the virtual world of the internet. The response continues to be positive, with The Past Today magazine calling the diaries "one of the most important finds in the field of Victorian filth that has ever been seen this week", while History and Historians Periodical states that the journals are "really not too bad," accompanied by a rather fetching picture of myself wearing a tank-top.

In cyberspace, The Pisstakers has given Lord Likely a week-long residence on their site, "in recognition of a great comic talent." Many thanks to them indeed. It is gratifying to know that the long hours spent hunched over these dusty tomes is being appreciated.

Meanwhile, in a more serious matter, a rival historian, Dr. Reginald Wabb-Nasperton, recently took to slandering my good name in this very blog. It was a wild and frenzied tirade of abuse, which sent shockwaves rippling through the historian community. I believe it to have been a wildly unprovoked attack, which has caused me no end of mental anguish. It nearly made me hate history for a while, but then I realised I could never hate history. I love her too much. Besides which, my spirits were raised by a wonerful article on the whole, messy affair, penned by my old journalist friend Bill Blunt. My heart-felt thanks to Bill for his support. It seems together we have driven Wabb-Nasperton back to whichever fetid rock he crawled out from.

In short, Wabb-Nasperton is history. But I, dear readers, am History.

Thank you.

- Julian Syngen-Smythe

News Just In: Lord Likely is One

2007-04-23T20:09:00.000-07:00

Good evening, history lovers!

I have just been informed by the lovely people at www.oneblogaday.com that an interview with Andy Fanton will be published on their site today, at around midnight. In it, Mr. Fanton will be discussing The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely, and hopefully adding some eye-opening analysis and critical theory.

Now who that Fanton character is, and how much about Lord Likely he knows, I do not know, but I am lead to believe he is quite knowledgable on the subject. Though I refuse to believe he knows more than me, as I know everything and have a framed certificate to prove it.

Anyway, go and have a read of it, see what you think. Just do not blame me if he turns out to be a blathering idiot.

UPDATE EXTRA! It appears the journals of Lord Likely have been given a big 'shout out' by the excellent Kyle Beabo, in his equally excellent blog. I would like to offer a shout out to Kyle, who runs a selection of really really good blogs.

And then I'd like to take the opportunity to give a big shout out to my main man history, the ultimate homeboy.

'Word', as I believe the youth of today say.

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Lord Likely: HisSpace

2007-04-23T17:58:00.000-07:00

In the ongoing quest to promote the extraordinary journals of Lord Likely to the world wide web, I have taken the liberty of setting up Lord Likely with his very own MySpace page.

I do not pretend to understand the ins and outs of this particular networking tool, which is home to a bewildering array of youths with unsightly piercings and hairstyles that are, quite frankly, intimidating. But I am led to believe it is highly popular, and a useful tool for reaching out and touching thousands of potential would-be history lovers.

The MySpace page will also feature exclusive blog entries, and also some music by that fine composer, Edward Elgar.

Please take a moment, if you are a member, to make his Lordship your friend. He will reciprocate, if you are deemed worthy enough.

Thank you.

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

The Lord Lords It Up On The Internet

2007-04-23T02:12:00.000-07:00

Since putting The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely up on the internet some two months ago, I have been delighted to see that many people have been as excited and invigorated by these journals as I have. It seems I am not alone in my insatiable lust for history.

Today, for example, has seen two glowing reviews for the journals. Top Blog Mag, in the latest issue of their online magazine, says the diaries are, "the daftest, laugh out loud funny, wonderfully politically incorrect blogs I have ever read". I could not agree more!

Meanwhile, The Pisstakers selected Likely as their 'bonus blog' on their 'MyBlogLog Sunday' competition. They say, "This guy, sorry, gentle-man, is seriously amusing". They are quite right, of course.

It brings a lump to my throat, it really does. And, I don't mind telling you, a lump to my trousers. I really do love history, you know.

Finally, the internet super-high-way has also helped me regain contact with old friends, such as my old mucker Bill Blunt, that straight-talking, straight-shooting, striaght man; and damn fine journalist to boot. It has been a pleasure to rekindle our friendship online, and to browse his selection of fine articles. Keep it up, Bill!

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Chapter Two: Finding The Journals.

2007-04-23T01:59:00.000-07:00

So, you may be wondering how an old historian like me got hold of the valuable and extremely rare journals of Lord Likely.

Then again, maybe you are thinking nothing of the sort. But I'm still going to tell you anyway.

The location of Likely's diaries was one of history's greatest mysteries. They were not among the items left on the Likely Estate, nor were they ever published for mass consumption. So where did they go?

The answer turned out to be spectacularly anti-climatic for a series of diaries so packed full of adventure. They turned up in...a charity shop, in Swindon.

Fig 1: a charity shop.

I happened to stumble upon them quite by accident, while looking for a new jacket. Imagine my surprise when, among the racks of books on sale for fifty pence each, I spied the legendary journals of Lord Likely.

Needless to say, I snapped them up in an instant, having first haggled with the shop-keeper to let me have all ten volumes for a pound, then excitedly rushed home to study these tomes at my leisure.

I shall never forget that day for as long as I live, unless I am struck with Alzheimer's in my old age. It was a wonderful, glorious day.

Now, I am more than happy to share my discoveries with the world, over at lordlikely.blogspot.com.

Enjoy.

- Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Chapter One: Who Exactly Was Lord Likely?

2007-04-14T19:08:00.000-07:00

Before we begin, we should first answer the question: Who Exactly Was Lord Likely?

Not much detail about Lord Likely had been available until now, with some historians believing Lord Likely was nothing more than a Victorian-era myth, made up to terrify school-children and entertain convicts. Yet, from the recent discovery of Lord Likely's journals and other artifacts, we have been able to piece together some biographical information about the great man.

Lord Likely was a Victorian aristocrat, and son of Lord Eustace Likely, the well-respected explorer and trader, who famously introduced pornography to the tribes of deepest, darkest Africa. Eustace Likely disappeared from England not long after his son's fifteenth birthday, leaving his heir with a large country estate and the Likely fortune.

Likely Junior grew up in opulence and decadence, never needing for nothing and living a life of unparalleled luxury. However, he soon grew bored of the daily routine and the rigmarole of high society, and so on his twenty-first birthday, Lord Likely took to traveling.

Not much is known about Lord Likely between the day he left the docks at Dover, and his reappearance some twelve years later. All that can be ascertained is that Likely returned to England a wiser man, and that on his travels he also acquired his long-time companion and man-servant, Botter, as well as a curious strain of gonorrhea.

Likely remained based in England thereafter, but still frequently journeyed to foreign climes as his mood took him. It was through his love of travel, and his eagerness for adventure, that Likely became well-renowned throughout Britain and Her colonies, garnering the nick-name the 'Aristocratic Adventurer'.

Finally, these adventures can be told, right here on the super-web highway.

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.

Welcome, Likely Readers!

2007-04-14T17:55:00.000-07:00

Welcome!

I am Professor Julian Syngen-Smythe, renowned historian and writer of such history-packed books as The Renaissance: A Heck of a Lot of Drawings, How The Great Plague Was Not Really All That Great and Henry VIII - The Fuck King.

My recent work has been in transcribing the fascinating journals of Lord Likely, a Victorian aristocratic adventurer, from the diaries themselves to this here internet.

You can view these fascinating journals by visiting the blog entitled The Astonishing Adventures of Lord Likely, Aristocratic Adventurer. I highly recommend doing so right away. They truly are an astonishing read.

This blog you are reading now will focus on the trials and tribulations of transferring these great works to the internet, alongside some thorough academic study of the diaries' content.

It was be enormously interesting, even if I do say so myself.

I hope you enjoy your visit, and do not be afraid to leave me a comment or two to encourage further discussion about the enigmatic Lord Likely.

Good day.

- Prof. Julian Syngen-Smythe.